How do you make robots, explosions, and Megan Fox unexciting? You hire Michael Bay, that’s how! And then you toss in not one, but TWO shots of dogs humping each other. It’s like Bay came up with all this ridiculous action, then wrote a script around it without bothering to connect any plotlines or imbue his characters (real and robotic) with life. But hey, what are you gonna do? It’s coming. Suck it up.

Michael Bay has just announced that he will be returning to piss off every geek and fanboy still breathing by directing the third (I believe, final?) installment of his messy Transformers franchise. I don’t hate the films as much as everyone else (though I have reserved a special hatred for screenwriter Ehren Kruger). I’m probably the only person at ThinkHero who doesn’t full-on┬áhate Michael Bay and, if anything, the guy has proven that he has a great sense of humor. I just wish it translated to the shitty humor in the films.


Transformers 3: July 1st, 2011
10/01/2009 09:41 AM

Well its official: We have a great Transformers 3 story. The release date is now July 1st 2011. Not 2012.

Today is Day One. This morning started with an ILM meeting for five hours in San Francisco. Currently I’m flying with writer Ehren Kruger to Rhode Island to talk to Hasbro about new characters.

P.S. Megan Fox, welcome back. I promise no alien robots will harm you in any way during the production of this motion picture. Please consult your Physician when working under my direction because some side effects can occur, such as mild dizziness, intense nausea, suicidal tendencies, depression, minor chest hair growth, random internal hemorrhaging and inability to sleep. As some directors may be hazardous to your health, please consult your Doctor to determine if this is right for you.

Pain and Gain is right after shooting of Trans 3.


Great Transformers 3 story, eh? The movie-going public will believe it when it doesn’t render them comatose.



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